It is almost 2 weeks till Christmas!

Well here we are almost 2 weeks from Christmas and I am almost done shopping and my tree is up! I am so much farther then I have been in the past! I am Starting to get excited about Christmas! This is the first time in Taylor's life he has understood who Santa is and he brings gifts! About a week ago I was getting ready to go shopping and was looking online at sales when Taylor came up to me and said,"Mommy can Santa bring me a train." I started to cry I have never heard him ask in the 4 years he has been alive can Santa bring me something. And last year Santa was not Santa he was a Christmas Tree! So I am very excited because in a year he has come so far. I am ready to bake and cook for Christmas and My mother in law is coming this year so I am excited to have family around for Christmas! This will be the first time since the boys where 6 months old since we had family around for Christmas.

Holidays!

Wow it is holiday time! Once again right before a holiday I loss a very close family member. This time it was my cousin Jason. He had passed away the 6th of November. Now it is Thanksgiving and I am home alone. I love serving my country by being a military spouse but is sucks sometime most military families have that comfort of having there spouse home on all holidays because they work a 9 to 5 job in an office and they don't think of the serves members how never have every holiday off. The military cops work 24/7 and they also work Holidays. So as the military members who we have to have holidays on no holidays days! And for me Holidays have always been full of family time so this year yet another year we have not been around family. We have spent the last 8 years almost 9 year away from family. Sorry to sound down on the holidays! I just am missing family this year really bad! Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas to all!

Updating!

Well I am just updating you on my cousin! He is doing better he is to leave the hospital tomorrow! And starting treatment in a week. Taylor has been on his Meds for 3 days and they are working well he is on them 24 hours a day. I can't believe my baby girl will be 2 on the 28th of this month and she is getting so big.

Being Away from Family!

I have had a hard time this week being away from Family. On Friday I got news that my cousin and friend Jason had been rushed to the hospital because he had a brain tumor. The weekend was stressful because we sat all weekend not knowing how he was. They did the virtual MRI yesterday and removed as much of the tumor as they could because of the location. The doctor said if it is not Cancers he removed everything but if it is he will have to go back in and then he will have to start treatments. On another note last week the doctor had us to Taylor off his ADHD medicine because of a rash on his tummy and as soon as we stopped the meds his rash went away. So we went to the doctor on Monday and we have started a new medicine and tonight we started but he will have it in his system 24 a day because of his behaviors when he comes off. He becomes destructive and mean really mean. So the doctor has now put him on it 24 hours a day now. I gave it to him about 25 mins ago and he is so calm and he has been a WILD man for the last week and driving me up the WALL! Yeah Medicine!

Tomorrow is Humpday

I am happy that tomorrow is Hump day that mean it is only 2 days till the weekend. And it is also just one day till Byron has the weekend off. I am ready from my break. This week is has been stressful. I have had to put out money I did not really have! I had to pay for new keys for the van that was $125 just for keys. And now I am probably going to have my whole ignition replaced with is about $310 plus to have that replaced. so I am ready for the weekend so I don't have to think about anything except my family. But sometime that is more stressful then money! Anyways I am just happy cause I can get to sleep in this weekend Yeahhhhh Me! I would have to say I love Disney movies but sometimes you can only hear them so many time with out getting ready to pull my hair out. Today's movie is Underdog 6 time in the less 2 days! I am so tired of knowing every word and song in a movie and then having Taylor say,"Mommy Mommy sing it sing that song!". Anyways I just letting know my day!

A long Sunday!

Here is another long Sunday for me. I am at home with the kids and Byron is sleeping Because this is his weekend to work so I am alone with the kids. Well I know you are thinking well why don't you go out and do something. Well here we go! About 2weeks ago Zarah decided to play in my purse and since then I have not had my Bank card I tore the house apart and could not find it so I just got my new one but the only problem is I my pin did not come in yet so I can not start using it. Now to the van well about 4 day after the bank card went missing one of my kids thought it would be fun to play with moms keys! So can you guess? Yep My keys have been missing since then! Once again I have tore the house apart but no keys either! So we have been driving the Focus. But the car is on E and no bank card to put gas in it so I am stuck in my house! I take the kids out to play but it is to hot to stay out to long. I am having the greatest luck when it comes to weekend B is off. So the kids are driving me crazy and it is to hot to keep them outside. So this is my fun Sunday!

Finialy have time to Blog

We I guess I have not been the greatest Blogger! My life has been CRAZY! Well were to start. I guess to say Taylor. Well as of June 25 Taylor has been attending Treehouse Day Program! It is a private School that works with Autistic Kids. I would have to say I have seen a big change in him. He is learning letters and sounds and you name it they are working on it. We just got back too from a trip home to Florida. We had a great time the kids got to swim and play all day. The boys taught them self's how to swim. Taylor is swimming under water and no water wings. Issac learned to swim with a mask on and go underwater. Even Zarah was a water baby. We enjoyed family and friends. We got to spend lots of time with 2 of my bestest friends Johnny and Debbie Denson I have known JJ since we where in 3rd grade and Debbie since 1995 or 96. What is better then your 2 best friends being married so you and your husband have a couple to do things with. We got to have a double date while we where home and it was so much fun. We went to dinner and bowling. JJ bowled a 210 that night. We have always had a blast when we go out even before we where married. Now to Issac he is fine we started him on ADHD meds and he is doing great on them he can focus better in therapy the big test will come in a few weeks when school start back. We are in the mists of having him see the neurologist about hims muslces. We are fixing to have a bunch of blood work done. And if you have not heared the twins turned the big number 4 last week. And we only have a few weeks till the youngest turns the big number 2. And taking of her Zarah is doing great. She is spoiled rotten. We are working on temper right now. She is talking and self potty training. Our life's are not any closer to a normal life but we deal with what God gives us. And I was talking to my mom this week and we where talking about my sister being preggo and waiting on the ultrasound to see if we had one or twins and I was telling my mom that there twins are hard but they are a joy and i would not trade having them for the world I love them no matter how much work they are. But to let you know my sister have only one healthy baby on the way. Well I guest I am done for now I but promise to do better. Keep us in your prayers Taylor has a 14 hour EEG on the 19 of Aug. it will be a challenge.

The Newest Member of our Family!

Well to let you all know we have added a puppy to our house. She is a 6 week old puppy a lab mix. Her name is Bunny because she hops all over. She is a fun addition to our house. We are going to train her as a therapy dog for Taylor. When she turns 1year and a half we can start the training. we are really excited about this new place in our life. she is blessing even though I am already potty training 2 of the 3 kids so now I have added a forth.

Test results

Well today we got the test results from Taylors EEG and Sleep Study! His EEG was clear YEAH! but his sleep study came back he does not have sleep apnea. He does have shallow breathing and long breath spells. He does have Nocturnal Myoclonus--Unusual Movement During Sleep. In a 4 hour sleep time it woke him 11 times. so he is not getting a rest full sleep. I can be cause from low iron in the muscles. just want to let you all know what was going on.

Will Power!

Okay I want to talk about willpower I have some but need more. I am needing willpower to diet and stand strong in excercing. I need to lose about 60 lb. I know to start small and start at 10 first and then set new goals. I am starting tomorrow back better or not I am starting and not stopping till I get down to atleast what I weight before the babies where born I would be happy to be there again. I am need to do this for me and my family I know I am not healthy and I need to be with my kids they keep me going and I can keep up for a while but I cant keep it up the whole time they can.
They other think I need willpower on is not giving up when thinks look bad. I am fighting right now trying to get Issac some behavior therapy to help with his ADHD and OCD. It is so hard to have a child with ASD (autism) and receive the therapy he needs for behavior therapy. But when it comes to anything other then ASD you can't receive any ABA if you don't have a diagnose of ASD. I am not saying they don't need it they do and it helps. But is sum what unfair to the kids with ADHD and OCD and parents don't want their kids on Medicine. Issac is to young for meds and after seeing what ABA does I know he would make great strides with it. I have seen his brother be able to do things and interact with people that he could have never done a year ago. Taylor has a long want to go but he is a much better boy since we have started ABA and other therapy's. Issac is not a bad child he is just wild and when the boys get wound up they are to much and they start bouncing off the walls. Now that Zarah is bigger she is running around following her brothers. You want to talk about Wild I think sometimes I think I live in a monkey cage or a circus. I sorry for venting I just need the willpower to not give up.

7 Things about me!

1. I meet my husband while we both worked at Animal Kingdom and we only dated 1 and half before we got married and now 8 year of marriage We are still very happy.

2. I love to cook and bake.

3. I have some of the Greatest friends in the world and most of them I have had since I was a child.

4. I owned a white Fiesta that I could put about 6 people in and have.

5. JJ is one of my oldest friends and he is married to one of my oldest friends too and they share the same birthday (29 of march)

6. I have 3 kids and I am a stay at home mom.

7. I still watch cartoons and laugh at them too.

I tag
Summer
Katie
debbie

Thought for today!

Have you ever thought about what your worth is? Sometimes as when you are having one of those day you start to think about how much you are worth! You sit and think man I am a bad mom or I am not doing what Gob wants and sometime I'm not the wife I should be! I know as a mom of 2 special needs kids it is hard to believe you are doing everything right. I know God gives you the kids you are meant to have and I spoke them into the atmosphere when I was just a child (10 or 11). Then you have days like today when the kids come home and they are loving and tell you,"Mommy I love you!" or "You are my bestest friend!" and to hear my little girl tell her Uncle Bubba,"Uve You". I know deal with and I doing what God wants is the hardest for me. I know we need to find a church home and be able to get plugged in. It is hard when you have a child that is not easy to keep in the service or in the nursery. I know that is an excuse but is is hard. And now the wife I should be it is hard when you are on the road 5 days a week back and forth to therapy coming home and have to get 2 boys ready to go to school and get Zarah down and look at my house and think I need a nap. I don't sleep worth a crap I have a hard time getting to sleep and when I do Taylor come and crawls in bed with me and then there goes me going back to sleep. So on the days my hubby is off work I just want to sleep and not worry about having to take care of him too. I have not been giving him a love or time I should. I just want to be able to feel like a good mom and wife and also do what God wants. I just need to let it out I am OK just need to vent. thanks for the ear!

It is Easter Weekend!

Well where to start well today I took the kids for pictures at Target!I have to say I use to before the kids got so big I would take then to do photos but now I can only do it once a year I was about to go crazy Taylor when you put him a small room with peolpe. And the other two go crazy too because of Taylor. But I will have to say I got good pictures! I am boiling eggs for dying eggs. I am also going to make potato salad and a cheese cake and a carrot cake. I also have to make Mac and Chesse. We are going to a friends house for Easter dinner! I cant wait this year the boys are old enought to have fun. I will post pictures when I can.

Dad left today!

Sorry I have not blogged in a few days I had my dad here and I was busy with him and my kids! It was a really good trip we had lots of fun! Well we are doing good Taylor is getting sleep and we have his sleep study tomorrow night and we have to be there all night. I well be taking him and Byron will be here with Issac and Zarah. I am getting excited this is what we have been waiting to see what is going on with his sleep. We are getting ready for the EEG on good Friday. I can't wait to see how it all tuns out! talk to you all soon.

Remembering

Well today it has been 8 Years since I had a life changing accident. Most of you who know me know this story but there are a few who may not. 8 Years ago I was a bus driver and was doing my regular run. I was making my regular stop on Highway 27 and I had 9 kids on the bus. The age of the kids was kindergarten to middle school. I had turned on my lights and started my stop when I pulled the stop arm and start to let the 2 kids that lived at the stop a kindergarter and a middleschooler. I had started to open the doors when I trucker blow past my stop arm and I did not finish opening the door but the kindergarter had aready slipped down in to the door at the time the trucker blow my stop arm I had one of my student's start yelling Miss Haney A truck is on the other side. It was only a split second and the second truck passed me on my door side. So in that split second she was in my door and the truck was passing me on my doorside and she was sucked out. I watched her get sucked out and land in front of my bus. After that I quickly call for help. I dont remember alot after that. I know they told me I was in shock for days after. I still have no memory I just remember what people tell me. I still have a hard time dealing but every year it gets a little easier. But I will never forget her Brittney Ann Moore will always be a part of my life. I will never forget her she was only 6 and to young to be in heaven but I know she is in a better place. Sorry this is so sad but this is the day I will always remember.

Another Sunday!

Well here is another sunday I have spent at home wishing for monday. Let see Taylor has not had OT in a week and a half and he is so sensory deprived he is all over me and his brother. He is in need of input I cant give him. Yet again I am wishing for tomorrow! But I will have to say the new med they have him on we are now getting 12 hours a night now! YEAHHH! First time since he was a baby we have gotten that much sleep out of him! We are also getting ready for my dad is coming in in thrusday! I cant wait he has not seen us since Oct. and the boys and Zarah have changed so much in that time. I like gettting him all to my self and I dont have to share him with anyone else. He gets to play with the kids and not worry about anything like working. When we are in Florida he has 3 jobs. #1 is the mill and then #2 is at a parts store and #3 he has to be dad and when he is here he is just dad. Anyways I cant wait till then and the kids will have a ball. Well it is time to put my babies to bed so we can get up and start our day about 7 in the morning. I will talk at you all later. love you all

Updating

Where to start! Well Taylor has been to the sleep doctor and they have put him on a new sleep med. We are going to have an EEG and Sleep study done to let us know what is going on when he is sleeping and why he is not sleeping. The EEG is for his blanking out spells. We will be having them in the next 30 days so appointments are coming my way.

Next Issac is okay but we are trying for figure out what is going on. I asked the same doc that we saw with Taylor we asked about what some of the signs of mild CP. Issac meets alot of the signs but we have to get a referral from tri-care and that is like pulling teeth.

And now Zarah the little princess. See is now 18 months and getting Big. She is tring to talk and tell on her brothers already. We take her every where and she always walks in like she owns the place.

And now me I am doing good just tired! I am trying to stay on top but sometimes I just get tired of appointments and driving back and forth but it is worth it when you see my boys change in actions and behaviors but I think sometimes I am on the edge of just losing it but I will never stop.

So here it is!

I am post to just talk out my thoughts. Well number one!



1. How do I deal with the stressful life I lead and is it the right way?

I would not stay I deal with the stress in the right way most of the time. When you have 2 kids with special needs you forget that they are not normal so disiple is different most. Taylor likes the rough nature so spanking is not an chose. And yelling does not work because he goes running and hides saying, "I sorry and to loud!". Issac is so unsure of his feelings he crys if you ask him in a raise voice a question! And Little angel Zarah he just does not know what to think of anything she at 16 months knew what a time out was from watching Taylor and Issac go she only has to hear the word and she goes and put self in to time out for no reason. And I have those days when my life is crazy and you sit back and look at your kids and all you can do is laugh and try to hide the laughter. And the other days I loose it and all I can do is cry ,"God what do I do I know I have not done this right and pray for grace!'



2.Lord I know you never give us more then we can handle but are you sure it me as their mom?

I have a lot of days when I ask god are you sure I am the right mom for my kids. I dont question it all the time but days when I loose it and I feel like I cant go on are the days when one of my kids come up and say, Taylor says," You so cute mommy!" or " I love you !", Issac says, "Mommy you my best friend and I love you!" those days make me know I am an okey mom.



3. Why does my Husband ask me how I feel and then no matter what the answer will then say okay time to go to work see you in the morning?
This one is the one I haves been the hardest for me. Byron is a loving man and does care for me and the kids but he has this one fault and it is he is a man that hate to feel like he is a looser.
Meaning at work he is not the greatest at being a cop and he is tring but he feels like he always has someone standing over him telling him he is not anygood or he is to fat and he need to do this. Byron does not want to let me down or the kids down or work. His fear of fauling at any of this has him worried and I feed in to it sometimes and not even thinking before saying," you dont care how I feel" or " why are you asking because you still go to work if I cant move". Our lifes are both stressful! But I know he cares about use but sometime I just want a break and have him home or have him do a theropy run.

I hope this all make sence. I am just writing my thoughts and hope you can understand them !

My favorite time of the day!

I would have to say my favorite time of the day is when the kids are in bed. I love the sound of the house quite. I hope it stays that way but I enjoy while it least. I know that sounds a little selfish but it is about the only time when there is no sound in my house and I dont hear, "MAMA" or "What you doing mommy?". So what are is your favorite time of the day?

I'm so tired!

One of the hardest thing about Taylors disorder is his sleeping. He woke up at 130 and would not go back to sleep till 345! So I already have a hard time sleeping and you add a kid with sleeping problems it is I getting about 4 hours a night. I just am so tired!

It is the weekend

You most people get a break on the weekends! Not in a house with kids with sensery problems!

First off Taylor is always the first one up. He always comes in and jumps on you and tells you wake up. Then he has to start waking everyone else in the house (this is about 430 to 5 in the morning). He has to start by being right in your face giving you no space. I have to pray that I dont hurt him because he just wont stop. They come running down stairs turns on the Disney channel for Playhouse Disney. Taylor is potty training so we have to go potty when we get up and most morning it okay but there are those mornings when he start his melt downs " I no PEE in POTTY!" and you have to make him sit there fighting you. He will fight you till he start to go and then he start singing " I PEE PEE IN THE POTTY ". The whole time you are thinking You were just fighting me not to go and now you are singing and dancing. Someday you just have to say okay God I dont understand him just give me grace that I can try to understand him and not hurt him. Then you have the other two Issac and Zarah. They are just as wild as Taylor most mornings. I have too stop and think okay what can I get done today. It is the weekend you always think okay I can get everything done. Yeah right not here! I get nothing done I start to clean and they undo everything I just cleaned. and it make for a big fight. If I had the money I have a maid and a nanny and a personal helper. But living on a SSGT pay that is just a dream and these are the days I miss my good friends that would come over a say " Toni I just want to bless you what can I do for you!". (katie) and I miss my babysitters. Moving here was Gods will but sometime I wish he would send all your friends with you. But if we had not moved we would not no what was going on with Taylor or Issac. I feel like I am Crazy most days and my Life Is Crazy ! I hope you enjoy the read this is just a little of my life. I hope to have a clean house os I can post pictures of it on here but I would not show anyone my house right now it is a sty and I will have to clean it when the kids go to bed tonight. I hope you all have a blessed weekend.

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my crazy life! I hope it will show you have my life is goes and how crazy I have it. I will share my highs and lows. I am a mom of three most of you know. I have my twins Taylor and Issac and they are almost 4 not to long till there birthday and I have my little girl Zarah and she is now 18 months. This last May Taylor saw a team of doctors and was labled with ASD (autism spectum disorder) we live our lifes driving back and forth to theropy 5 days a week. Issac is also getting theropy for Speech and Occupational theropy and he also get Physical theropy.Zarah is fine and tagges along for the ride. I will tell you about My Crazy Life! hope you enjoy the read.