Updating

Where to start! Well Taylor has been to the sleep doctor and they have put him on a new sleep med. We are going to have an EEG and Sleep study done to let us know what is going on when he is sleeping and why he is not sleeping. The EEG is for his blanking out spells. We will be having them in the next 30 days so appointments are coming my way.

Next Issac is okay but we are trying for figure out what is going on. I asked the same doc that we saw with Taylor we asked about what some of the signs of mild CP. Issac meets alot of the signs but we have to get a referral from tri-care and that is like pulling teeth.

And now Zarah the little princess. See is now 18 months and getting Big. She is tring to talk and tell on her brothers already. We take her every where and she always walks in like she owns the place.

And now me I am doing good just tired! I am trying to stay on top but sometimes I just get tired of appointments and driving back and forth but it is worth it when you see my boys change in actions and behaviors but I think sometimes I am on the edge of just losing it but I will never stop.

So here it is!

I am post to just talk out my thoughts. Well number one!



1. How do I deal with the stressful life I lead and is it the right way?

I would not stay I deal with the stress in the right way most of the time. When you have 2 kids with special needs you forget that they are not normal so disiple is different most. Taylor likes the rough nature so spanking is not an chose. And yelling does not work because he goes running and hides saying, "I sorry and to loud!". Issac is so unsure of his feelings he crys if you ask him in a raise voice a question! And Little angel Zarah he just does not know what to think of anything she at 16 months knew what a time out was from watching Taylor and Issac go she only has to hear the word and she goes and put self in to time out for no reason. And I have those days when my life is crazy and you sit back and look at your kids and all you can do is laugh and try to hide the laughter. And the other days I loose it and all I can do is cry ,"God what do I do I know I have not done this right and pray for grace!'



2.Lord I know you never give us more then we can handle but are you sure it me as their mom?

I have a lot of days when I ask god are you sure I am the right mom for my kids. I dont question it all the time but days when I loose it and I feel like I cant go on are the days when one of my kids come up and say, Taylor says," You so cute mommy!" or " I love you !", Issac says, "Mommy you my best friend and I love you!" those days make me know I am an okey mom.



3. Why does my Husband ask me how I feel and then no matter what the answer will then say okay time to go to work see you in the morning?
This one is the one I haves been the hardest for me. Byron is a loving man and does care for me and the kids but he has this one fault and it is he is a man that hate to feel like he is a looser.
Meaning at work he is not the greatest at being a cop and he is tring but he feels like he always has someone standing over him telling him he is not anygood or he is to fat and he need to do this. Byron does not want to let me down or the kids down or work. His fear of fauling at any of this has him worried and I feed in to it sometimes and not even thinking before saying," you dont care how I feel" or " why are you asking because you still go to work if I cant move". Our lifes are both stressful! But I know he cares about use but sometime I just want a break and have him home or have him do a theropy run.

I hope this all make sence. I am just writing my thoughts and hope you can understand them !

My favorite time of the day!

I would have to say my favorite time of the day is when the kids are in bed. I love the sound of the house quite. I hope it stays that way but I enjoy while it least. I know that sounds a little selfish but it is about the only time when there is no sound in my house and I dont hear, "MAMA" or "What you doing mommy?". So what are is your favorite time of the day?

I'm so tired!

One of the hardest thing about Taylors disorder is his sleeping. He woke up at 130 and would not go back to sleep till 345! So I already have a hard time sleeping and you add a kid with sleeping problems it is I getting about 4 hours a night. I just am so tired!

It is the weekend

You most people get a break on the weekends! Not in a house with kids with sensery problems!

First off Taylor is always the first one up. He always comes in and jumps on you and tells you wake up. Then he has to start waking everyone else in the house (this is about 430 to 5 in the morning). He has to start by being right in your face giving you no space. I have to pray that I dont hurt him because he just wont stop. They come running down stairs turns on the Disney channel for Playhouse Disney. Taylor is potty training so we have to go potty when we get up and most morning it okay but there are those mornings when he start his melt downs " I no PEE in POTTY!" and you have to make him sit there fighting you. He will fight you till he start to go and then he start singing " I PEE PEE IN THE POTTY ". The whole time you are thinking You were just fighting me not to go and now you are singing and dancing. Someday you just have to say okay God I dont understand him just give me grace that I can try to understand him and not hurt him. Then you have the other two Issac and Zarah. They are just as wild as Taylor most mornings. I have too stop and think okay what can I get done today. It is the weekend you always think okay I can get everything done. Yeah right not here! I get nothing done I start to clean and they undo everything I just cleaned. and it make for a big fight. If I had the money I have a maid and a nanny and a personal helper. But living on a SSGT pay that is just a dream and these are the days I miss my good friends that would come over a say " Toni I just want to bless you what can I do for you!". (katie) and I miss my babysitters. Moving here was Gods will but sometime I wish he would send all your friends with you. But if we had not moved we would not no what was going on with Taylor or Issac. I feel like I am Crazy most days and my Life Is Crazy ! I hope you enjoy the read this is just a little of my life. I hope to have a clean house os I can post pictures of it on here but I would not show anyone my house right now it is a sty and I will have to clean it when the kids go to bed tonight. I hope you all have a blessed weekend.

Welcome

Hello and welcome to my crazy life! I hope it will show you have my life is goes and how crazy I have it. I will share my highs and lows. I am a mom of three most of you know. I have my twins Taylor and Issac and they are almost 4 not to long till there birthday and I have my little girl Zarah and she is now 18 months. This last May Taylor saw a team of doctors and was labled with ASD (autism spectum disorder) we live our lifes driving back and forth to theropy 5 days a week. Issac is also getting theropy for Speech and Occupational theropy and he also get Physical theropy.Zarah is fine and tagges along for the ride. I will tell you about My Crazy Life! hope you enjoy the read.