So here it is!

I am post to just talk out my thoughts. Well number one!



1. How do I deal with the stressful life I lead and is it the right way?

I would not stay I deal with the stress in the right way most of the time. When you have 2 kids with special needs you forget that they are not normal so disiple is different most. Taylor likes the rough nature so spanking is not an chose. And yelling does not work because he goes running and hides saying, "I sorry and to loud!". Issac is so unsure of his feelings he crys if you ask him in a raise voice a question! And Little angel Zarah he just does not know what to think of anything she at 16 months knew what a time out was from watching Taylor and Issac go she only has to hear the word and she goes and put self in to time out for no reason. And I have those days when my life is crazy and you sit back and look at your kids and all you can do is laugh and try to hide the laughter. And the other days I loose it and all I can do is cry ,"God what do I do I know I have not done this right and pray for grace!'



2.Lord I know you never give us more then we can handle but are you sure it me as their mom?

I have a lot of days when I ask god are you sure I am the right mom for my kids. I dont question it all the time but days when I loose it and I feel like I cant go on are the days when one of my kids come up and say, Taylor says," You so cute mommy!" or " I love you !", Issac says, "Mommy you my best friend and I love you!" those days make me know I am an okey mom.



3. Why does my Husband ask me how I feel and then no matter what the answer will then say okay time to go to work see you in the morning?
This one is the one I haves been the hardest for me. Byron is a loving man and does care for me and the kids but he has this one fault and it is he is a man that hate to feel like he is a looser.
Meaning at work he is not the greatest at being a cop and he is tring but he feels like he always has someone standing over him telling him he is not anygood or he is to fat and he need to do this. Byron does not want to let me down or the kids down or work. His fear of fauling at any of this has him worried and I feed in to it sometimes and not even thinking before saying," you dont care how I feel" or " why are you asking because you still go to work if I cant move". Our lifes are both stressful! But I know he cares about use but sometime I just want a break and have him home or have him do a theropy run.

I hope this all make sence. I am just writing my thoughts and hope you can understand them !